Common sense is like deodorantthe people who need it most never seem to use it. If you have a problem with me, write the problem on a piece of paper, fold it, and shove it up your ass. You just won $1 million. When a joke doesnt go over well, dont be afraid to laugh it off and poke a little fun at yourself. Youre the whole royal family. Your mom has so many warts in her face that it spells "ugly" in brail. Hey, you have something on your chin. When they said grow a pair, they didnt mean for you to have kids. Every woman should marry an archeologist. This question can surely make her smile after getting to know that she is the reason for your happiness. 20. You are a pizza burn on the roof of the worlds mouth. 1. The right comeback will make you come across as intelligent. You are the human version of period cramps. I applaud your effort, but I think Im the only one in the audience. When someone dismisses another human being as useless, the intention is to make them feel worthless as if their death would do the world a bigger favor than their continued existence. Continue reading and youre gonna find it. You almost reached a level of coherency resembling my newborn son. Happy Gal-entines, bestie! Their apparent need for drama is their way of crying out for attention to something that has been ignored for too long. Keep rolling your eyes, you might eventually find a brain. All mistakes are fixable, yet you arent. I'm so glad we have brown cows, otherwise there wouldn't be any chocolate milk. Did I hurt your ego? Id like to help you out. I'm not a proctologist, but I know an asshole when I see one. Dont pretend your feeling of fullness after that chimichanga gives you the right to call yourself fat as an expression of solidarity, either. 345 other terms for toxic- words and phrases with similar meaning. When is your soul coming back from vacation? There are so, so many comments from young women who have been hurt and who have found a way to hurt back. Advertisement. Send a pun-filled birthday message to my friend Anna. There are some remarkably dumb people in this world. When you look in the mirror, say hi to the clown you see in there for me, would you? Dont get bitter, just get better. Alyssa Edwards. Sometimes, though, we use offensive words without even realizing it. You should carry a plant around with you to replace the oxygen you waste. Its a total jerk move, and while it can be infuriating (because of the condescending attitude behind it), it also reveals the poverty of wit on the side of the person using it. Its scary to think people like you are allowed to vote. "Why do you have to be such a b*tch?" 30. Youre the type of person that uses their 3. If you were a vegetable, youd be a cutecumber. The gap in between your teeth look like parking slots. He believes in bringing about positive change through good-natured humor and innovative technology. The people who know me the least have the most to say. Excuse me, did it hurt? But midget is inaccurate, insulting, and never okay. Your so dumb i bet before you watched IT you thought Pennywise was an atm. Everyone brings happiness to a room. 100 Funny Things To Say 1. 6. If you suddenly die, Id immediately travel around the world to search for the seven dragon balls. And no one who points that out is overreacting or being oversensitive.. You are like a cloud. They host a movie night every . Say unexpected or random comments with a humorous tone. But using the word fat is insulting especially to anyone in the room who is carrying even a little more weight than you are. Chocolate milk comes from brown cows you know. Roses are red, violets are blue, the trash is dumped and so are you. You may also enjoy a bonus video below about the celebrity roasters. Two wrongs dont make a right. My phone battery lasts longer than your relationships. I found a spot for you. I'm just happy that you can construct sensible sentences now. We were happily married for one month, but unfortunately weve been married for 10 years. A balloon full of piss makes a bigger splash than your entire meaningless existence will on this planet. Here are some of the most-liked, and RUTHLESS, comments: 1 . Im surprised your teeth arent brown from all the shit talking you do. You just take my breath away. That can be a good thing. I only thought you talk behind my back! Funny Things To Say A Girl - 100+ Ideas To Make Her Yours - The Life Virtue At the same time, unexpected or random jokes can make you more memorable. So, get ready to say goodbye to the brutally cold St. Louis winter and give spring a huge warm welcome with one or more of these fantastically fun things to do in March 2023! 7 Toxic Phrases People In Relationships Say Without Realizing It - HuffPost You should really come with a warning label. And you want to tell them, It is not okay to say that!. In the land of the witless, you would be king. Remember that time you were saying that thing I didnt care about? If you were a booger, Id pick you first. Hey baby are you American cheese because you come as a single now. Did I invite you to the barbecue? As an outsider, what do you think of the human race? No, the 3rd one down. Someday youll go far. And it assumes their relative ignorance justifies an insult on their character or intelligence. 61 Most Savage Roasts And Jokes List That Will Shut - Humoropedia.com When karma comes back to punch you in the face, I want to be there in case it needs help. I thought of you today. I would roast you, but my mom says I'm not allowed to burn trash. 22. Care to help? The day a man makes me happier than chips and queso with a frozen margarita and my best friend is the day Ill get married. The song Army of One is an ode to your loneliness. It will make you appear strong. Just beware of accidental miscommunications. I try to have an open mind, but my brain keeps falling out. sentences. Youve probably seen someone stop another persons talking by putting a hand up to their face, as if to say, Talk to the hand. Its a rude and dismissive way of saying, I dont care about what youre saying.. I think theyre onto something. If laughter was the best medicine your face would cure the world, my phone battery lasts longer than ur relationships, If I wanted to commit suicide, I would just jump from your ego to your IQ. Queer Movie Night is part of the Kansas City Center for Inclusion (KCCI). Hate me because your boyfriend thinks so. Can we go to the zoo? I must have been imagining things. Your skin is glowing, but I think its from the radiation emanating from your toxic ass personality. Can I have your name and phone number to call you back? Go back to Party City, where you belong! Phi Phi OHara. We and our partners use data for Personalised ads and content, ad and content measurement, audience insights and product development. Im listening. Yet even we introverts will sometimes refer to ourselves as antisocial when describing our behavior at social gatherings or our level of social energy at a particular moment. Of course, you can also use funny insults on your best friends when theyre being a little too annoying. Don't worry, i'll be there too, not in a cage but laughing at you! For your B-day, I wanted to give you something that was funny and charming, but then I remembered you already have me in your life. "You're being dramatic," or "Quit being emotional," "Why are you so difficult," "You make things so hard on me," "someone else has it worse, so stop crying." -VividTangerine. This question basically means, How are you so ignorant? It attacks the other person for not knowing as much about a particular thing as we do. I don't know what I'd do without you, but starting tomorrow I'm going to give it a try. what happened to you it looks like corona just hit un ur area. Neither does it make sense to call someone a success based on successes that dont ultimately define them. I thought you were the monster under my bed. Dont worry. Most Funny Random Things To Say My teeth itch. Love must truly be blind because it cant see me at all. Worse, you dont want them to have the last word, So, weve compiled a list here of 100 comebacks that you might want to use the next time your friend hurts you or makes you mad. It shouldnt be hard to realize this since no one wants to be told their ideas are dumb., This word had an even stronger negative connotation than dumb.. We and our partners use cookies to Store and/or access information on a device. The words dwarf and little person are more acceptable, as long as they arent used with a condescending or dismissive tone. When someone says to you ur so retarted say oh sorry i didnt hear you i thought you were describing yourself, when someone says u cant even roast me back say OMG REALLY I DIDNT KNOW I COULD BURN TRASH, when someone is saying there so cool and they were also mean say to them god stop being delusianol ur not cool u think your freinds are saying things like omg he is such a legend u really think they are trust worthy, I called a pest exterminator, to exterminate you cause u look like trash. 16. When youre short on conversation starters or looking for an icebreaker, saying something out of left field can show that youre not afraid to be goofy and you dont take yourself too seriously. Or theyre playing it safe. Then why are you all up in my. I will ignore you so hard you will start doubting your existence. Birthdays are the perfect opportunity to celebrate the people you love and make them feel special. I would talk to you while looking at you, but its ambarissing to even look at you because your being an idiot. We look so good together. (and then wait a few hours to reply with something totally random). The series of mental backflips I had to do to try and understand your point should have broken my neck. "Grow a pair." 23. I like to be an example for others. Lists. "We're you born in a highway? My parents moved around a lot when I was growing up, but I always found them. You can speak english?!? Stupidity isnt a crime, so youre free to go. If you want anything done, ask a woman. Margaret Thatcher. ), 10 Interesting Conversation Starters and Deep Questions to Ask While at Home, 7 Ways Body Language Will Give You Away - Ear Body Language, 14 Ways To Spark A Conversation With People You Dont Like, 57 Killer Conversation Starters So You Can Start A Conversation With Anyone, Anytime. And while men generally build bulky muscle more readily than women, the testosterone responsible for that doesnt make them stronger where it really counts. Although the message here is to make the bot say slightly smiling face, the Discord TTS bot can actually say any emoji you type. That was the day I decided you were my soulmate. Location: 16905 Jowler Creek Road, 64079. Eleanor . With all those years of wisdom, youd think you would have more wrinkles by now. Nazi (like Grammar Nazi or Feminazi), 29. OH MY GOD, Ive been waiting to hear from you all day. Oops, my bad. No, you want something witty, something to cut them to their core. When karma comes back to punch you in the face, I want to be there in case it needs help. Her teeth were so bad she could eat an apple through a fence. Parts of speech. He loves comedy, cybersecurity, and innovative technology. . If you're going to be two-faced, at least make one pretty. Your absence would affect me greatly. Memorize some of the lighthearted lines from above. I clean up germs all day, but no matter how hard I scrub, youre still here. Oh youre talking to me, I thought you only talked behind my back. Good job. I've never heard that particular insult before. If you like these savage roasts that hurt, youll also like these absolutely hilarious and best yo mama jokes. When you disappear, its a beautiful day. Somewhere out there is a tree tirelessly producing oxygen for you. Microsoft's new AI chatbot has been saying some 'crazy and unhinged things' Your talking to me? This post has been created by Roman Marshanski, the founder of this site. If laughter is the best medicine, your face must be curing the world. 17 Best Funny Discord Text to Speech (TTS) Messages and Voices They both run at the first sign of emotion. Designating someone as an obstacle or a hindrance to your getting something you want is dehumanizing and offensive. Related: 12 Of The Worst Negative Personality Traits That Are Truly Nasty. Either way, if you like this. I feel so sorry for your parents. A lot of people have no talent. . I tried to be normal once worst two minutes of my entire life. Like my dog. Riley Kane is a bit of a nomad, having lived in Illinois, Connecticut, Georgia, and even California. I see no evil, and I definitely dont hear your evil. Id rather treat my babys diaper rash than have lunch with you. 2. /tts A rofl Train goes tichdvdtche tichdvdtche tichdvdtche tichdvdtche tichdvdtche wuuu wuuu wuuu tichdvdxtche tichdvdtche 11. Im on a seafood diet. This expression is meant to brush off someone elses response to an offensive remark. Ive never had many life goals. He also chases his tail for entertainment. nouns. #6: "Sorry You Feel that Way. If you want to be funnier in social situations, try these jokester-approved tips: When youre feeling a little doubtful about your sense of humor, remember that you can learn to be funny just like any other people skill. Now that you know 31 words and expressions that everyone should avoid, I bet you can think of others you could add to the list. Using this insult essentially means you see the other persons value as synonymous with their usefulness to you. Log in. I would never date you. Oh, so you fainted from the excitement of getting a text from me? Hijo de las Mil Putas. Laughter is an essential people skill. Your only purpose in life is to become an organ donor. Youre like asthma. Happy birthday to my best friend! There're many pessimists who got that way by investing in an optimist. If youre going to be two-faced, at least make one of them pretty. Why arent shorts half the price of pants? You must be tired because youve been walking through my mind all day. Dismissing someone or something as gay is an insult to anyone with a homosexual orientation, because youre essentially using the word gay to mean bad or to refer to something you dont like. I was just imagining the day of your birth in my head. 17. Just text someone a random word and see what happens. If looking good were a crime, you would have been arrested several times a day. Youre like my fridge: always full of yourself yet offering an abundance of empty calories. If I had a dollar for every time you said something smart, Id be broke. It takes me a lot of effort to smile when youre around. But friends like you lie on the floor with us and laugh our butts off together. Heres another real psychiatric disorder that shouldnt be made light of. "You're boring." 27. Engaging in the argument is not worth itit fixes nothing, it usually generates more toxicity from that person and it risks tilting your entire team. How much of a refund do you expect on your head, since its empty? phrases. No, no. "A toxic relationship is a dynamic between two or . You could bedumbass partners in crime? Ill marry your brother just to be in your family. 22 Hilarious Toxic Puns - Punstoppable thesaurus. 45 Good Roasts That Hurt - PsyCat Games If genius skips a generation, your children will be brilliant. Ever. Yeah? Glad I could be of assistance. Ill never forget the first time we met. I dont have any trash to take out today, but I volunteer you as tribute. Well yeah, it is your fault. Roses are red; violets are blue. I couldve sworn I was dealing with an adult. I didnt think it was possible to give me more reasons to hate you until today. Unfortunately, I dont have any resolutions to make since Im already perfect. I actually liked that one though. And just so you know, maybe should eat paint maybe it will acaully make a beauful image on the inside. They know something is wrong, but they dont know what. Did your parents ever ask you to run away from home? Do you believe in love at first sight or should I walk around a few more times? You my friend, are a white crayon on white paper. Hahahaha sorry, just thinking about how I used to date you. Introverted does not mean antisocial. You should really come with a warning label. Ok, youre free to go. You look like something I would draw with my left hand. Its similar to Grow a spine but more insulting particularly to men. I thought of you today. Im choosing to ignore you. 4. Your parents, for one. Dont try to think too hard. You better pay it extra. "I'm gracing you with my presence.". I find the fact that youve lived this long both surprising and disappointing. What can I do for you? If youre waiting for me to start care, I hope you brought something for eating, because its gonna be a long time. These insults are going to convince others to stop treating you so poorly: These are the best insults to use on anyone who gets on your nerves: Use these quotes to put your enemies in their place: January Nelson is a writer, editor, and dreamer. Your secrets are always safe with me. Where are you hiding your imperfections? You do things that other people consider anal, paranoid, or ridiculous because you cannot NOT do them. when you try to boil a lobster, it screams before, bc it saw your face. If you want to look thin and young, hang out with some fat old people. ' Bianca Del Rio. That is, I did until I went out and bought a $3 bag of chips. Roses are red, Foxes are clever. Your hairline look's like the KFC manager, The reason your mom cry's when cutting onion's because you turned out to be a big FAILURE. Has anyone ever tried to smack some sense into you? 100 Funny Replies and Witty Comebacks to an Apology One day, I hope youll choke on the crap you talk. Some of the people who use these expressions seem to think theyre doing others a favor by letting them know how theyre falling short. Id have hired an exterminator if I knew you were gonna bug the shit out of me. I dont care if you feel like youve earned the right to use that word as a playful tease. I love that super cute thing you do when you dont reply for 10 hours. Did you hear about the two bald guys who have put their heads together? Your face is just fine, but well have to put a bag over that personality. Id tell you to blow your brains out, but Im pretty certain theres nothing there. Swallow your pride and your tongue while youre at it. Send Hahahaha and when they respond what, text back Oh I was laughing because I thought your thumbs fell off and you couldnt text anyone back. However, toxic gamers will insult their opponents or teammates during, or after, they've had a poor game. Im super excited for the new year. It doesnt work. Dont place your self-worth in others hands. This is [location] morgue, you kill em we chill em. Yeah, that is now. Valorant has taken the gaming community by storm. They say our brains dont stop developing until we reach 25; looks like yours stopped a bit early. This funny discord TTS message has got you covered to have a good laugh. Ditch the outfit. Want some? 15 Hilarious Comebacks That Will Leave People Speechless If I could rearrange the alphabet Id put U and I together. Your poor mama didn't have no choice. Make your friends bust out laughing with one of these clever things to write on a card: Valentines is the perfect opportunity to express your love to your significant other or write a funny card to your fellow singles. I love you with all my butt. Thank you for calling! And they will carry on with this terrible behavior even when they're the ones in the wrong. Even smart people can have dumb ideas, but once you dismiss someone as a fool, youre essentially saying they have nothing of value to say about anything. Bad idea in your case. 9 out of 10 voices in my head tell me I'm crazy. Is there an app I can download to make you disappear? The Department of Homeland Security added your existence to the list of Natural Disasters.. Please, dont stop, keep talking. I like you just the way you are: uninspiring, uninteresting, and dreadfully unfunny. What did you want to be when you grew up? your so dumb if we put you in a competition vs a baby the baby will win, Okay, my fatness can be fixed but your ugliness can't. 180 Best Mean things to say ideas | funny quotes - Pinterest When God made you, you must have been on the bottom of his to-do list. If I had a face like yours, Id sue my parents. I keep thinking you cant get any dumber and you keep proving me wrong. There are so many paths in life. Whether over text or IRL, infusing humor into daily conversations makes socializing much more fun and interesting. Updated Sep 25, 2022. Jun 8, 2019 - Explore Victoria Nguyen's board "Roblox and funny quotes" on Pinterest. 21. Not at all gross, today. If you dont like me, acquire some taste. Kourtney Kardashian. Sometimes a narcissist will ask for your opinion on something, and you give it, and then they make you feel bad for saying something like that. I thought I had the flu, but then I realized your face makes me sick to my stomach. Forget about the futureyou can predict it. Fat-shaming is never appropriate even when you think youre only insulting yourself. It implies that you see that person as nothing more than an object blocking the path to your goal which you see as more valuable than that person. Some people hatch into beautiful butterflies. 13 Hilarious Arabic Swear Words and Phrases - Culture Trip Are you normally this obnoxious, or is there some class you took? 14. Use them responsibly only when absolutely necessary. Therere many pessimists who got that way by investing in an optimist. Patience is a virtue, but I dont want to wait. I just googled Funny things to write in a text. Are all your friends this stupid as well? What would I do without you and our deep conversations? The only way my husband would ever get hurt during an activity is if the TV exploded. I only yawn when Im super intrigued. Any fan of the game will find these memes hilarious and relatable . I know that everyone is allowed to act stupid once in awhile, but youre really abusing that privilege. In your case, theyre nothing. 20 Toxic Phrases That Can Ruin Your Relationship - Marriage I didnt put garlic over my door because I think youre a vampire. A quirky joking message a few hours later can lighten the mood and remind them that they never responded. Its likely that theres something going on with that person that hasnt yet been addressed. Light travels faster than sound. Its no less insulting or mean-spirited than if you were to use a slur to directly attack someone who identifies as homosexual. I consider you something a vulture would eat. Humor is a key likability cue that helps people feel more relaxed around you. We headed over to Twitter to find the "toxic traits" people have aired out on their accounts. Youre a conversation starter. Good. Youre not simply a drama queen. 2 Reply BIGGERBOI69 4 yr. ago Those born with dwarfism or with any condition that limits their physical stature do not, as a rule, choose to be called midgets.. Aww, dont worry, you are wantedwanted for several accounts of perjury. Everyone talks about the early birds good luck, but what about the early worms bad luck? It just takes me a moment to process so much stupid information all at once. Its your chance to pounce. Toxic shock syndrome: Toxic shock syndrome (TSS) is a condition caused by bacterial toxins. Avoid it. Your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory. I like your butt, Let me touch it forever! 10 funniest things to ask ChatGPT | The Sun True antisocial behavior is more typical of sociopaths and psychopaths not introverts in general and its nothing to make light of. "She said, 'I can't wait to meet your mom,' while we were having sex." 6. I was just calling to let you know about your car insurance warranty. Of all the goofballs in the world, you are my favorite. I know you got my last text because Cops doesnt start till 4. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak. You are so full of crap, the toilets jealous. Jinkx Monsoon. If whats fun for you isnt fun for the other person (and vice-versa), its okay to be honest about this and either separate or do things separately. I understand everything you said. When in a grocery store ask the clerk "do you have Prince Albert in a can?", if they say yes, tell them to let him go. Enough to break the ice. While were alive, were likely to experience failure or success, as long as were still doing things and striving to reach our goals. Never play golf with a doctor who wears green socks. You might want to tuck it back in. If Your Mom Ever Says These 19 Things, She Might Be Toxic - Bustle Id slap you but I dont want to make your face look any better. To view the purposes they believe they have legitimate interest for, or to object to this data processing use the vendor list link below. Take my lowest priority and put yourself beneath it. I look ugly? After Tuesday, even the calendar says WTF. . Some people should use a glue stick instead of chapstick. Are you ever overwhelmed with the urge to tell someone to shut up? Im so glad we have brown cows, otherwise, there wouldnt be any chocolate milk. Mirrors cant talk. Try this: Call your friend and let them know you cant talk right now. Im an acquired taste. Please do your own research before making any online purchase. When playing online, not everything is going to go your way. An example of data being processed may be a unique identifier stored in a cookie.